I read each and every comment, and they keep me going through the tough times.
Status: 7.5/10. Good friend and oncologist here at Hopkins, Dr. Christian Meyer, told me when I was first admitted that I’d have my good days and my bad days, and that I was entitled to have my bad days. Today was a day of entitlement. Monday’s are the surveillance culture days (the orifice thing), the change your Hickman catheter dressing day, and change all your IV tubing day. Today was also preparation for another lumbar puncture and intrathecal (into the spinal fluid) chemotherapy injection. That meant blood work, morning meds, prophylactic meds for platelet transfusion, repeat blood work to ensure enough platelets, platelet transfusion, every 15 minute vital signs, and then the lumbar puncture.
Events: Lisa was here through all of it, and was the sole entity that got me through it. The magic of her holding my hand (and rubbing my feet) enabled me to get through a morning with a little too much crammed into it. If I get through all this, I’m going to start doing some PBS infomercials about foot massages, crystals, and aromatherapy (well, maybe not the crystals and aromatherapy).
Comments: These days are the low points in both my white count and my physical sense of well being. My attending physician commented that “there’s something about neutrophils” (the white blood cells that fight bacteria). Whether they emit good humors themselves, counteract bad humors from other white cells, or modulate the complex chemicals of the immune system is beyond my knowledge base, but I miss them a bushel and a peck, and I’ll welcome them back with open arms.
There was a refrain that kept going ‘round and ‘round in my head while I was having a tough time of it today – and it spoke to the sustaining force of my life right now.
“I’m a little lamb who’s lost in a wood
I know I could always be good
To one who’ll watch over me
There’s a somebody I’m longing to see
I hope that she turns out to be
Someone to watch over me”
Someone to Watch Over Me
– George Gershwin
I love you Lisa,